It’s Man Vs the Mud In The Bwera Bistro SMC Rally
By Mwambazi Lawrence
The stage is set (the routes), the dancers are ready (the competitors), the DJ is ready (Mr. COC), and now let’s get ready to rumble! But first, let’s all hold hands and pray that it doesn’t rain tomorrow because if it does, it’s going to be a drunkard man’s party! Crews will be sliding left, right, and center, struggling to navigate the wet and slippery routes like a newborn calf on an ice rink.
Tonight, Bwela Bistro SMC is buzzing like a beehive with engines revving so loudly, you’d think the cars were trying to start their own rock band! Mechanics are shouting instructions, but honestly, it sounds like they’re auditioning for a role in a soap opera lots of drama, not much action. Over at Bam Petro Station in Masaka, crews are scrambling through scrutineering like it’s a game of “Who Can Get Their Car Passed First?” A good number of entries are ready to unleash their engines in a showdown that could rival any blockbuster action movie. Tomorrow, at precisely 8:30 AM (because we all know rallies have a reputation for being punctual, right?), rally proper will kick off, and things are going to get seriously fast… or maybe just seriously loud.
First on the menu is the 20.77km Ibrah Kisekka stage, which kicks off in Kayija and wraps up in Kalinga village. If the weather’s dry, this stage will be like a rollercoaster ride fast, twisty, and ready to take you on a village-attack-style adventure. But if it rains? Well, let’s just say drivers might need to start praying to the rally gods because the ditches are ready to make some new best friends. Any damage here is a catastrophe, like stubbing your toe just before running a marathon suddenly, you’re in pain, and you haven’t even started! Keep it together out there, folks, or it’s going to be a very long day!
Next up, the 24.16km SMK Tyres stage, starting in Kako and finishing in Sunga village. At 9:19 AM, the first car will dive into the unknown, dodging trees, chickens, and let’s be honest probably a few villagers who didn’t get the memo that there’s a rally going on. It’s like a real-life version of “Frogger,,” but with more horsepower. Then it’s off to Nabugabo Sand Beach for the 11.33km Field Stage, a sandy, flat paradise that’s perfect for those who have made it this far and still have some tread left on their tires. Fans will be living the dream with a three-in-one view, watching multiple cars in action from a single spot—ideal for anyone who doesn’t want to risk transforming into a mud monster just to catch another lap. You’ll be in the front row without the post-race clean-up!
After surviving these three stages, crews will roll into the first service break, where mechanics will work their magic, doing their best to keep the cars alive for another round think of it as a pit stop at a fast-food drive-thru, but with way more tools and fewer fries. Then it’s back for the second run through the Nabugabo Field Stage before the much-anticipated head-to-head Super Special Stage at Nabugabo Sand Beach. This stage, featuring Lane A and Lane B, is tighter than your grandmother’s purse on a shopping spree. One wrong move and cars will be locking lips with trees like long-lost lovers reunited by pure chaos. With the dust (or mud) finally settling, crews will retreat to Masaka town for the overnight Parc Ferme because, after all, even rally cars need their beauty sleep. But don’t get too cozy, because the battle is far from over!
At sunrise on Sunday, the rally warriors will set off on a 52km liaison to Sembabule Service Park, where their cars will get a quick 15-minute touch-up basically a rally-style power nap before the madness begins again. Then, it’s straight into CS6, the 11.67km Toyota Chairman Stage, where drivers will need to balance speed with caution, because lurking along the route are a few bone-rattling humps designed to remind them who’s really in charge. Hit them too hard, and you might just leave your suspension behind as a souvenir. This same stage will later serve as the Power Stage, where the fastest crew will snatch some sweet bonus points if they can keep all four wheels pointing in the right direction!
Next up is the 15.68km Kagango stage a fast and flowing stretch, but only for the brave (or the slightly unhinged). CRC crews get a free pass on this one, probably for their own safety, because let’s be honest, this stage doesn’t play nice. From there, the real beast of the rally awaits: the 25.89km Lugusulu stage. This monster is long enough to make even the toughest drivers second-guess their career choices. By the time they reach the finish, they’ll be gasping for water, their co-drivers questioning their notes, and their cars wondering what they did to deserve this punishment. But whoever survives this gauntlet unscathed will be one giant step closer to victory and possibly in need of a chiropractor!
A much-needed service break follows, giving crews a chance to patch up their battle-worn machines before the grand finale—the Toyota Chairman 2 Power Stage. With extra points on the line, this is where drivers will throw caution (and possibly their tires) to the wind in a final, all-or-nothing sprint. It’s the ultimate test of skill, endurance, and pure luck because at this point, even the best strategy can be undone by one rogue bump or an overenthusiastic throttle foot. Whoever masters this stage will not only earn valuable bonus points but also the bragging rights of surviving one of the toughest rallies on the calendar!
Just to remind you, Ponsiano Lwakataka & Paul Musazi lead the NRC Championship, and being on home turf, Ponsiano knows these routes like the back of his hand. But can he handle the mud? Well, the mud doesn’t care who’s leading the championship it’s ready to test everyone equally! If Ponsiano slips, at least he’ll have a good excuse: “It wasn’t me, it was the road!”
. Edward Kirumila & Monica Birwinyo lead the 2WD class in their Toyota Corolla. But will it waltz through the wet terrain or dance its way into trouble? One thing’s for sure if it starts moonwalking instead of moving forward, we might have to rename it the “Toyota Thriller!”
Walter Kibande & Duncan Katumba top the CRC class but are feeling the heat from Robert Sentongo and the lurking presence of Kevin Bebeto. This will be a battle worth watching! With all this pressure, their accelerator pedals might need a cooling fan because things are about to get hotter than a chapati on a roadside pan!
Duncan Mubiru returns after a long break, hoping to shake off the rust in his Ford Fiesta Proto. But will he still have the speed to challenge the front-runners, or will he need a GPS to find his old pace? One thing’s for sure if rallying was like riding a bicycle, let’s just hope he hasn’t forgotten to pedal fast!
John “The Constant Menace” is back with a vengeance, a new co-driver, and the same hunger for victory. With his trusty Ford Fiesta Proto, expect fireworks hopefully from the finish line and not under the bonnet! If determination had a turbocharger, John would be running on rocket fuel!
Mike Mukula Jr & Siraj Kyambade bring a freshly mapped Subaru Impreza N10 into the fight, ready to upset the order and possibly send a few top competitors packing. But will they be the disruptors or the ones needing directions back to the service park? One thing’s certain if speed doesn’t do the job, unpredictability just might!
The excitement is at an all-time high, but let’s be honest our biggest prayer is that the skies stay clear. Otherwise, tomorrow’s rally will be less of a race and more of a mud wrestling contest, with cars sliding around like they’re auditioning for a drift competition! Buckle up, because Masaka is about to witness an epic battle of man versus mud may the best driver (or the one with the best mud tires) win!
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