Now That The WRC Safari Rally Is Over…
By Mwambazi Lawrence
Naivasha, can finally breathe! The animals in the Naivasha Game Park are enjoying their well-earned peace and quiet, no longer dodging rally cars and choking on dust. Naivasha town has gone from being a carnival of roaring engines and screaming fans to a quiet, sleepy town as if nothing happened over the weekend. But let’s be honest, every single resident of Naivasha will forever sing praises to the government of Kenya for keeping the Safari Rally right in their backyard.
As for Naivasha town, the silence is almost eerie. Just a few days ago, it was a motorsport paradise. Every hotel was packed to the rafters, bars ran out of beer (which is basically a national crisis), and even the chapati vendors were selling out faster than concert tickets for Burna Boy. Business was booming! If you were in Naivasha and didn’t make money this past week, my friend, you might need a visit to your ancestors because clearly, something spiritual is blocking your financial blessings.
Back here in Uganda, by this time last week, no rally fan had a single logical thought in their head. The only words on their lips were “WRC Safari Rally!” Everyone was scheming their way to Naivasha “How are we getting there? When are we getting there? Ooh, I can’t wait to meet Thierry Neuville!” Some even went as far as lying to their bosses about losing relatives just to get time off. Well, we hope those “relatives” have now resurrected because the rally is over!
The Safari Rally lived up to its reputation, chewing cars and spitting them out with missing parts. If there was one driver who got the biggest heartbreak, it was poor Takamoto Katsuta. Imagine completing 20 grueling stages, reaching the finish line, and just as you think you’ve made it, your car decides to play dead. If that isn’t betrayal, I don’t know what is. This rally didn’t just break cars; it broke spirits! Mechanics, drivers, and co-drivers alike are currently somewhere in a deep sleep with “Do Not Disturb” signs on their doors.
While the Safari Rally is a test of endurance, one thing WRC drivers never seem ready for is African food. At this point, we need to tell them: Boys, if you are not ready for ugali and Sukuma wiki, just say so! Reports say some of them spent more time in the toilets than in their rally cars. Katsuta and Neuville next time, stick to bread and water, lest your stomachs decide to rally against you.And let’s not forget poor Gus Greensmith, who had a similar problem last year. At this rate, WRC teams need to add Imodium sponsorships to their rally programs.
Toyota continued its unbeaten run at the Safari since WRC’s return to Africa in 2021. But this time, Hyundai didn’t just sit back and watch. They pulled off a historical feat two cars on the podium and a 22-point advantage over Toyota! Hyundai’s team principal, Cyril Abiteboul, must have finally exhaled in relief, realizing Africa wasn’t just Toyota’s playground.
If the other drivers weren’t already worried about Evans, they should be now. The man is on fire, extending his championship lead in style. it’s starting to look like he might just walk away with the whole thing. Meanwhile Rovanperä’s season has been so rough that even his Toyota teammate, Sébastien Ogier who has only done ONE rally has more championship points than him. Ouch. Between punctures, broken suspension, and his car just randomly deciding to give up, the Safari was not kind to the reigning champ.At this rate, Rovanperä needs a prayer session, a mechanic, and maybe a little bit of good old African juju to turn his season around.
Hyundai, on the other hand, had a bittersweet rally. Yes, they put two cars on the podium, but they also had more technical issues than a teenager’s first attempt at fixing a car. Adrien Fourmaux barely survived the first stage before his car decided, Not today, sir! And as for their decision to run the old 2024-spec i20 instead of the new one? That’s like showing up to a party in last year’s fashion trends and expecting to outshine everyone.
Over in WRC2, Gus Greensmith continued his winning streak at the Safari. Hopefully, this time, his victory celebrations didn’t involve sprinting to the nearest washroom! But credit where it’s due, he bagged another important win, setting up what looks like a promising season.
If you watched the stage-end interviews and thought the drivers had all suddenly lost their voices, you weren’t alone. The WRC drivers’ union decided to boycott speaking English in protest against FIA’s new penalties on bad language. So instead, they spoke in their native languages or said absolutely nothing.
Thierry Neuville: Je ne parle pas anglais aujourd’hui.
Elfyn Evans: Welsh gibberish
Grégoire Munster: Accidentally speaks in English, realizes his mistake, then switches to French.
The FIA, after seeing this unfold: Maybe we need to rethink this policy.
With this silent protest making headlines, all eyes are now on the FIA to see how they’ll handle it before the next WRC round in Gran Canaria. Will they backtrack on the penalties, or will the drivers be forced to start speaking in Morse code next? But hey, message delivered!
With the dust settled (both literally and figuratively), all eyes turn to Rally Islas Canarias. Will Hyundai’s gamble pay off? Can Evans continue his dominance? Will Katsuta finish a rally without heartbreak? And, most importantly, will the WRC drivers finally adjust to African food?
As for the fans? We’ve had our fun, made our noise, and now, we return to our normal lives until next year when we start planning our ‘urgent funerals’ again to attend the greatest motorsport spectacle Africa has to offer. See you in Naivasha 2026!
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