Elfyn Evans Runs Riot in the Mud as Rovanperä Rocked by a Rock
By Mwambazi Lawrence
If the Safari Rally were a school playground, Elfyn Evans would be that kid effortlessly dribbling past everyone, barely breaking a sweat, while Kalle Rovanperä would be the unlucky chap who not only stepped on a loose shoelace but also managed to trip over his own dignity, face-planting into the mud like a cartoon character. Meanwhile, Sébastien Ogier would be the grumpy PE teacher blowing the whistle every two seconds, and Ott Tänak would be that one kid who swears he was fouled even when he just tripped over air.
Evans now holds a commanding lead of nearly two minutes after a chaotic penultimate day, where the Safari Rally once again proved it doesn’t just chew up cars it swallows them like a hangry T-Rex, burps loudly, and then spits them out looking like they just survived a wrestling match with a hippo. Drivers emerged from the carnage covered in mud, missing half their car parts, and clutching their shattered egos like a student clutching a failed exam paper, wondering where it all went wrong.
Things were tight between Evans and Rovanperä at the start of the day, but then Kalle found himself playing an intense round of “Dodge the Rock” and, well… the rock won. His Toyota went in for a romantic kiss but ended up in a full-blown toxic relationship, shattering the rear-left suspension like a bad Tinder date. Not one to throw in the towel, the double world champion summoned his inner MacGyver, slapped on a makeshift fix, and hobbled along the stage like a three-legged giraffe with commitment issues. Unfortunately, even the bravest gazelles need all four legs to run, and now he’s stuck in fifth place, over six minutes behind, probably reevaluating every decision that led him to this very moment including that fateful encounter with the rock.
Meanwhile, Ott Tänak and Thierry Neuville wasted no time seizing the opportunity like kids grabbing the last slice of pizza, comfortably rounding off the top three while Kalle nursed his wounded pride. Takamoto Katsuta, on the other hand, was hanging on to fourth place like a cat clinging to a wet tree branch in the middle of a thunderstorm. His day was nothing short of a telenovela first, he blasted through with a stage win, looking like a hero in the making, only to get hit with not one but two punctures, sending him tumbling down the leaderboard like a sack of potatoes bouncing off a runaway truck. If rallying had a “laugh track,” it would’ve played right after his second puncture.
Speaking of trucks, the final Soysambu stage could have easily moonlighted as a monster truck derby, with rally cars flailing around like shopping trolleys on a freshly waxed supermarket floor. It was pure mechanical mayhem Neuville’s Hyundai wheezed and sputtered like a grandpa trying to swallow a spoonful of peanut butter, yet somehow, it soldiered on, coughing its way past Katsuta. Meanwhile, Katsuta, ever the philosopher, took an extended pit stop mid-stage to change a puncture, likely pondering the deeper meaning of life, the universe, and why rally gods seem to have a personal vendetta against him.
Tänak, meanwhile, had the most drama-free afternoon an achievement in the Safari Rally that’s about as rare as finding a porcupine chilling in a pillow factory. While everyone else was busy battling rocks, punctures, and existential crises, Tänak cruised through like a man who somehow found the cheat codes to life. He even snagged the final stage win, securing second place with a calmness that must have felt downright illegal in these conditions. At this rate, he might just be the only driver in the paddock not staring into the distance, questioning every life choice that led him here..
Evans wasn’t completely unscathed either. At one point, he went for an unplanned spin and had a heated disagreement with an unidentified object most likely another rock with an attitude problem and a thirst for destruction. By the time he emerged from the chaos, his car looked like it had just stumbled out of a bar fight, missing a few panels and probably its dignity. But in the Safari Rally, style points don’t matter survival does. And with a 1m57.4s lead overnight, Evans is living proof that in this rally, even controlled chaos can somehow turn into a winning strategy.
In WRC2, Gus Greensmith and Jan Solans are locked in a battle so tight, it’s basically motorsport’s version of a staring contest blink, and you might miss a lead change. Greensmith holds a razor-thin 5.8s advantage, which in Safari Rally terms is about the time it takes to slap away an overly persistent mosquito. At this point, even a well-timed sneeze could shake up the leaderboard, and both drivers are probably holding their breath just in case..
The Kenya National Rally Championship battle is sizzling like a nyama choma grill, with Carl Tundo and Tim Jessop leading the class in 15th overall, proving once again that experience and probably a deal with the rally gods counts for something. Jeremiah Wahome and Victor Okudi are holding onto second in KNRC and 17th overall, likely gripping their steering wheels like stress balls, while Singh Vohla and Drew Sturrock round out the podium in 21st, probably just happy their car is still in one piece. Meanwhile, Yasin Nasser and Ali Katumba, after restarting this morning, are soldiering on in 22nd, most likely with a newfound respect for the Safari Rally and a growing suspicion that the rocks here have a personal vendetta against them.
With one more day to go, the Safari Rally is far from done delivering its brand of motoring mayhem. Can Evans keep it together, or will the rally gods demand yet another sacrifice? Buckle up, because anything can happen when you mix fast cars, big rocks, and mud deeper than your ex’s emotional baggage.
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