The Battle For Migingo Is Very Much Alive In This Year’s Pearl Of Africa Rally 2025
By Mwambazi Lawrence
While some of us were still mourning Judas Iscariot’s upcoming betrayal of our Jesus Christ (the guy has had over 2,000 years to change his mind but NOOO, betrayal it is) but while we were focused on that holy drama, our neighbours from the east have launched an invasion. a high-octane invasion has snuck in from the east. Yes, folks, six Kenyan rally crews have now confirmed entries into the Shell V-Power Pearl of Africa Uganda Rally, and honestly, I’m starting to think this is no longer motorsport. It’s a covert mission to claim Uganda one Evo at a time. The Kenyans are coming… and this time, they’re riding turbocharged missiles with rally stickers!
As Uganda was busy crying over the neighbour’s dog that ran away with the family’s only Easter chicken ,the Kenyan army has silently assembled a motorsport task force that makes Fast & Furious look like a boda boda race. The latest weapon of mass acceleration? One Issa Amwar a man who doesn’t just step on the gas—he interrogates it., he has teamed up with none other than Denis “Been There, Done That” Mwenda, a man so familiar with Ugandan rally stages
Their ride? A Mitsubishi Evo X. Yes,. That means 10 whole generations of speed, power, and gearhead goosebumps. With this addition, the number of Kenyan entries in this year’s Shell V-Power Pearl of Africa Uganda Rally has now hit six –SIX! That’s no longer a friendly motorsport delegation; that’s a full-blown tactical invasion. Somebody notify the Ministry of Rally Affairs wait, do we even have one?
Now, if you’ve been around long enough, you’ll remember Denis Mwenda from the 2014 Pearl Rally where he terrorized the 2WD class in a silverspread Toyota Sprinter that had more swag than a Kampala slay queen on Valentine’s Day. But Issa Amwari? He’s a new face in town. Let’s be nice. Show him around. Maybe introduce him to rolex, mukene for character development.
As of close of business yesterday (also known as the time when Ugandans stop pretending they’re working), the Amwari-Mwenda crew had already submitted their entry. It was clear, bold, and probably typed in capital letters:
“WE CAME TO WIN. NOT TO SOCIALISE.”
Now, my fellow patriots, brace yourselves. This isn’t just any rally. This is a matter of national pride. This is… The Fight for Migingo.
Yes, that tiny, disputed island the size of a handkerchief but with enough political drama to fuel 20 rally cars. It’s not just about cars, it’s about identity, dignity, and showing our Kenyan brothers that yes, our roads may have more holes than Swiss cheese, but our will is solid! Uganda, we shall not go down without a fight. Even if –hypothetically- they take 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th place… we shall rise, united, dusty but defiant, and defend 6th place like it’s a throne. With our hearts. With our horns.
Meanwhile, Rwanda has heard the commotion and is reportedly preparing to deploy two of their sharpest rally machines. I say “reportedly” because Rwandans are classy they don’t brag, they arrive quietly, and smile politely. We await their confirmation like a WhatsApp text from your crush that says, “I miss you too.” Meanwhile, Uganda is not sleeping Ponsiano Lwakataka has sharpened his Subaru N12 “Musota” like a samurai sword at sunrise. That thing doesn’t even idle it hisses like a snake with road rage.. Yasin Nasser is warming up the Fiesta like it’s about to enter space. Duncan Mubiru aka Kikankane is probably somewhere in a garage growling at engine blocks. This is no longer a rally — this is a full-blown war disguised as a motorsport event.
Let’s not forget, Mbarara is the venue the chosen battlefield for this turbocharged turf war. They say the milk flows freely, the ladies smile sweetly, and the potholes are arranged with artistic intention.. Let’s pray there’ll be enough milk to go around because after this rally? Hearts will be broken, engines will be blown, and suspensions will need therapy.
As the entries continue to pour in like cheap wine at a village wedding, one thing is clear — this year’s Pearl Rally is not for the faint-hearted, the weak-spirited, or those without brake pads. It’s rally meets Royal Rumble meets Game of Thrones – minus the dragons, of course. Unless Jas Mangat decides to breathe fire.
So buckle up Uganda. Polish your vuvuzelas, tie your flags, and practice your “We believe in Lubega!” chants. Because the Kenyans are not just coming they’ve arrived.
And they want everything.
For country. For rally. For Migingo!
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